A Prayer for When You Can't Find the Words

God,

I can't find the words.

I don't know where to start.

How do you encompass a year of pain and sorrow,

fear and anger,

hope turned sour?

How do you begin to condense

the multitude of prayers

each shard of our broken hearts

each fearful tremble

each cautious hope?

Cursor blinking

words build behind a dam

unreachable.

Three days

Three more friends testing positive.

Relentless.

Words fail me.

How do I pray

when all I can do is *gestures broadly*?

Words are my lifeline,

my coping mechanism,

my way of making sense of the world

of myself

of the *gestures broadly*.

When the words don't come

I am lost.

Echo myself to myself

God knows.

God knows without words.

Cursor still blinks.

Words still needed.

Guideposts for a community.

But then,

then,

there is,

must be,

room for silence.

God,

create a crack in the dam

let words, good words

adequate words

flow gently out.

May they be a balm

for weary souls.

May they speak

gently, honestly,

authentically.

God,

help me find the words.

Amen.

December 14, 2020